The Future Shock - The Father Time Loop

Part One: Introduction of the Father Time Loop

Father Time: (is typing, then looks up) Oh hello, I didn't see you there. It seems you've stumbled upon the most peculiar story of our time... or of any time, for that matter. (Laughs). It concerns a young man with unimaginable- and if he's not careful, quite unmanageable power. A young man by the name of... oh bother, what was his name again...

*BLAAAAOOOOWWW* (power chord)

Ah yes! KOLIN POPE! THE VELOCITY GNOME! (Slide Show Pictures of Kolin while band plays)

(Song - Kolin Pope reprise) (Kolin Video)

Father Time: The air tonight is brisk; the cold westerly winds carry with them a dire portent. You see- tonight, a night like no other, shall call you to bear witness upon a duality of fates; on one hand, we have the end of humanity, an incident which, unbeknownst to you, has happened countless times before, and all under my dutiful watch. How embarrassing. On the other hand, perhaps tonight your eyes shall fall upon one man's rise to glory, his rise to the challenges fate has put forth. You may well see, once and for all, the destruction of the FATHER TIME LOOP!

*Discontent Musical Chord*

But I reckon you'll make your own inferences. Wait and see! Soon enough you'll hold these truths to be vice president, and so on.

Now I know what you're thinking: what could an old codger like myself have to do with all this? Well Pushy Patti, I would have to say that's a fine and dandy dandy of a question you've got there. Now, I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I don't know my nose from a noodle, but I'll still be first in line to describe to you a recent olfactory encounter!

Oh, biscuits. The sands of the hourglass drift away as we chatter. If it were up to me I'd sit here and jaw all night, but time, it seems, is not on our side. So, let us now gaze upon history itself as it unfolds through what you fine folks commonly refer to as "the future."

Song-The Father Time LOOP

Maggie begins constructing DoomsDay device. Zane is on catwalk, dancers dance a riveting modern ballet to the musical soundings of TR!! Every time "Velocity Gnome" is spoken, there is a power chord, or maybe everyone loudly whispers "the gnome!"

Father Time: It all begins and ends with a man: Maggie Hark. Maggie was once human, much like you or I, but from the very beginning he was unique...

Futurian: Born with only stumps, medical science outfitted Maggie with arms and legs of pure, molten steel. With an array of distinctive, devastating wrestling maneuvers, Hark rose to become the finest pro-wrestler the world had ever seen. He worked his way up through the world circuit to become humanity's greatest champion, felling even the most ruthless of spine-shattering back-breakers. At the height of his career, Hark was officially recognized and certified by the United Nations as the Strongest Human in History, Living or Dead. His legacy became forever celebrated in history texts distributed throughout even the world's most public of school systems.

Father Time: Years later, in the year 20XX, the Robocalypse... also known as the Earth Slide... changed the world forever.

Pastorian: The Robots destroyed over 89% of the human population. Cities were leveled, the skies blackened. The Robocalypse became synonymous with devastating hardship. Humanity's history was systematically erased. Then, like a sparrow from the ash, a powerful Resistance emerged. The Resistance was led by Velocity Gnome, an unlikely hero with phenomenal powers and knowledge. The Gnome rallied what was left of mankind using his strong sense of justice and unwavering hope in humanity to fight the Robots. Through his efforts the tides of war began to turn!

Father Time: During his years as leader of the Resistance, Velocity Gnome bore a son, whom he named "Zane."

Dancers give birth to Zane and develop the dance of their love bond. Chorus members loudly whisper "Zane" in unison.

Futurian: Zane was a precocious young scamp. From an early age he showed signs that he too possessed all the powers of his father. In his teenage years, he grew into a physical giant and became quite talented wrestling CyBears in the wastelands and veldts near his CyBurban home. His mind, too, was strong; following in his father's footsteps, Zane developed an appetite for the scientific arts, with a specialty in cybernetic implantation.

FT: Zane loved his father with all his heart, but for Velocity Gnome the Resistance would always come first. Despite his spectacular accomplishments, Zane was often neglected by his father due to his grueling schedule as humanity's savior and the resulting late-night impromptu business meetings that came with such a title.

The dancers begin to show the rift growing between Zane and Kolin.

Slowly, they began to grow apart. Despite Zane's privileged position as the Velocity Gnome's son, he grew jealous of the Resistance and what it had done to the tender and sacred bond between father and son.

Pastorian: But Kolin Pope, the one we call Velocity Gnome, tried to do his best to balance his responsibilities as Zane's father and world savior. On a night Zane would remember forever, he and his father went on a camping trip in the woods...

Zane sits at the protocampfire alone, wearing a beanie. He twirls the propeller slowly, lonesome.

Futurian: In the middle of intergenerational bonding over a neon protocampfire, Velocity Gnome received an urgent call, and he had no choice but to rush off to an important Resistance meeting. Zane was left alone in the woods.

Dancers begin encircling and unleashing a modern interpretation of a bear attack.

Before he knew it, an entire pack of CyBears descended upon him, buzzing and whirring with fury and jealousy! Without his father, Zane was no match. He was CyBearly left alive, with his body gravely wounded and covered with deep gashes that would never heal.

Zane leaves through portal as lights flash.

Pastorian: Zane felt unfathomable abandonment and rage. He grew evil, and in his eyes his fellow humans were the cause. He vowed revenge against the remaining members of the species that tore his father away from him, and he would stop at nothing to destroy them all.

Father Time: Zane's pain was deep; deep as a dump truck. He hatched a plan to wreak revenge upon his father. He would empower the Robot armies so that his Father and in turn the resistance would become overrun by their mechanical oppressors. But to do this, he would need to give the Robots a new leader...one that would rival the Velocity Gnome's power...

Zane's modern Anger/Power Dance begins. Lightning and other chaotic visuals.

Futurian: Zane would create the most powerful cyborg in the history of the world to lead the Robot armies to victory. A combination of the strongest humanity had to offer and the strongest Robotic Future Technology had to offer. As he had seen, only humans were capable of the true evil that would be necessary. Unfortunately, the appropriate willing human subject did not exist in the Future.

Pastorian: There were few ancient history texts that existed in Zane's time, but through his father's contacts he was able to obtain one. Soon he learned of Maggie Hark, humanity's greatest warrior.

Maggie comes out flexing with his championship belt.

Futurian: His subject, now located, would require Zane to travel into the past to set his plan in motion and see to it that the evil in Hark's heart was unleashed. In addition, cyborg technology restraints would require Zane to wait until Hark's natural death, at which point his core components could be collected and integrated into the perfect cyborg.

Father Time: Thus, Zane's time-leaping began. With his level 5 security access, Zane was easily able to use a Resistance portal to travel back to Hark's time and enter the world wrestling circuit. With his Future knowledge and Robot-hardened musculature, Zane rose through the ranks of professional wrestling. He began copying Hark's moves and making them his own. Soon enough, the two wrestlers faced one another in a climatic clash...

Zane and Maggie enter circling each other in a flash back of sorts re-enacting their infamous battle. They do not have sex.

Pastorian: Like two menacing Titans battling for Mount Olympus, the fight would last for forty days and forty nights, and then an additional forty days.

Zane: You light like a champion, but there is fear in your heart, Mark!

Maggie: Fear, you say? FEAR?! There is no room left in this frame for such human emotions as fear... only anger pumps through these veins, Figiam! I swear here this day to destroy everything you have ever loved! You shall see them drawn and quartered before me, bleeding and shrieking for death! Pain and sorrow oozing from every pore! Crying out for you! Screaming your name!

Zane: You're wrong Maggie...(turns toward audience) I love nothing!

Pastorian: Zane grabbed Hark's exposed right thigh and firmly clenched it towards his chiseled torso.

Zane grabs Maggies exposed right thigh.

Futurian: Contorting it, he curled his glistening biceps firmly, clamping both arms around the better half of Hark's lower frame.

Zane leaps up spinning Maggie off stage. Lights go off on top of portals when people exit or enter through them.

Pastorian: As Zane leapt to the air he began to spin violently, a sensation Hark had experienced countless times before, but never as the upside-down recipient. The pile-driver came crashing down upon the blue and white mat, causing the ring itself to collapse.

Dancers begin a Buto-esque decomposition to nothingness.

Futurian: As the dust cleared, the ring was empty. Poking up through the pile of rubble and dismay was the single, crippled, tortured hand of the once mighty and undisputed wrestling king, Maggie Hark. Zane was nowhere to be found, for he had already accomplished all that was necessary in this time period.

FT: He had driven Hark to sweet, intoxicating madness.

Futurian: Madness?

Pastorian: Madness?

All players stage whisper "madness."

FT: Madness.

Pastorian: Hark was crushed by the defeat. He never recovered. He too felt rage- the same rage Zane felt when abandoned by his father, the rage that would drive Hark's human heart robotic.

Futurian and Pastorian: Hark's rampage began that day.

Futurian: Running on pure adrenaline and synthetic oils, Hark destroyed the wrestling complex and with it the lives of 37,865 innocent humans. He took his light to the streets, clothes-lining any and all that stood in his way.

Pastorian: His path of destruction lent itself to the very move that had become his own unmaking: a technique known only as the spinning pile driver, and so he went about pile-driving schools, banks, and post offices, making his way to the Pentagon.

Futurian: The armies of the past were ready for Hark; hundreds of thousands of soldiers littered his path as tanks, choplifters, and submarines trained their most sophisticated weaponry squarely between Hark's bloodshot eyes.

Over the next lines, Maggie screams on to the stage and then chokes and dies. The players enter somberly and gather him up and carry him out.

Futurian: Unsatisfied with what his life had become, Hark traveled the world to find solace in destruction, but eventually he was worn down and summarily defeated by the world he hated so dearly... the Human world.

Father Time: Hark was broken down to pieces and forcefully contained within a fission sealed adamantium safe-case. The day following Hark's death, a summit of world leaders was held and the decision was made to entomb Hark's remains at a secret location hundreds of leagues beneath the world's deepest of oceans. Only two men knew of

Hark's final resting place and both were killed in an outlandish hunting accident. With all evidence of their deaths stricken from the records and their documents classified and ultimately destroyed, knowledge of the location of Maggie's whereabouts became lost within the stream of time. No man or machine dared disturb Hark's remains for years...

Father Time: Back in the Future, Zane had returned through the portal with grand intentions of searching the devastated Future Earth for Hark's body; Maggies mangled, entombed corpse was all that stood between him and his plans fruition. To his dismay, the Highest Order of Human Wizards had already located the remains of Maggie Hark. Having knowledge of Hark's role in humanity's rewritten history and knowing the danger of letting the remains fall into the wrong hands, the Human Wizards cast the pieces into the distant CyberPast, where no Robot would ever lay clamp upon them.

Futurian: The High Wizards were able to fully digitize Hark's remains and place them in limbo between the humans and robots: cyberspace.

Video of the CyberRealm begins to play.

Pastorian: Only a person with access to the primitive CyberPast and the power to decipher the wizards' glyphs would be able to locate Hark's remains, and no such person existed in the Future. Zane was furious by this turn of events, but he was still determined to succeed, so once again he traveled to the CyberPast.

Zane enters through portal again and is greeted by the dancers who move as a unit and then explode apart to the corners of the stage.

Zane: What!? It can't be! This place... this Cyberspace... it is simply too confounding! No! Hark's remains will be mine, they must be mine!!

Zane begins trying to decipher glyphs.

Futurian: But even Zane's giant brain could not decipher the glyphs, and he wept in failure as he realized that there was only one man with the power to decipher the glyphs and gather Hark's remains. That man was Velocity Gnome, the father Zane was determined to punish. It was another dead end for Zane, who knew that the Gnome would never willingly help construct the downfall of humanity. Zane was left hopeless.

Pastorian: Then, when all seemed lost for Zane's plan, Velocity Gnome, who still consumed by his duties and completely unaware of his son's true feelings, set into motion a plan that would inadvertently bring about his own destruction...

Futurian: Seeking to better prepare his past self for his Future role as the leader of the Resistance, Velocity Gnome sent his tormented son back in time. Zane was to deliver unto the Gnome of the past two guidebooks along with some preliminary training and words of advice to prepare him for the Earth Slide. As the Gnome's son, Zane was the best candidate for the mission, and with his own agenda fueling his growing insanity, Zane willingly accepted his assignment.

Zane does something to act out this crap.

Pastorian: Traveling into the Gnome's past, he completed his mission as ordered, but he added his own modifications to the guidebooks and the journey in order to gain the Gnome's trust. This Gnome of the past, Zane concluded, would be unaware of all that would transpire in the Future, and thus he would not know the true history of Maggie Hark and his final resting place in the CyberPast.

Futurian: Zane knew that though the Gnome's powers were not at their height, Kolin Pope, his father, was still the only man, past or Future, with the inborn talent and outright genius to decipher the High Wizards' glyphs and locate all of Hark's remains. So, unbeknownst to the future, Zane began to use the Gnome of the past as a willing pawn. He covered his feelings of jealousy, betrayal, and hatred toward his father with words of accolade, love, and encouragement.

Projections of Gnome Cyber Adventure.

Father Time: Making another unauthorized trip to the past, Zane used his knowledge of cyborg technology to create two weak prototype cyborgs made from the human shells of two college students, two unassuming intra-web enthusiasts who would help him blend into the past world seamlessly and manipulate the Gnome's trust at will. Zane's plan went off without a hitch, and the naive Gnome of the past led a powerful hand of World Warriors through the CyberPast. In the end, Zane used the Gnome to summon Maggie Hark in his final, cyborg form. The Gnome fought valiantly to stop what he had unwittingly helped create, but to no avail. Hark and Zane escaped, and the world was doomed.

Futurian: Returning to the Future, Zane saw that things had changed. Velocity Gnome was dead. The leaderless Resistance was on the brink of destruction by the Robot armies, led by the powerful Maggie Hark, cyborg extraordinaire. Hark ruled the Earth with a titanium fist, but his bloodlust proved to be unquenchable. His evil had twisted him into a monster of metal and flesh, and even his allegiance to the Robots became lost.

Pastorian: Hark no longer yearned for domination, he now sought only destruction. With his power as Supreme Leader of the Earth, he constructed a DoomsDay Device that had the power to implode the Universe unto itself and destroy the very fabric of the space/time continuum.

Maggie comes through the portal and mans the control panel. He begins to move the DD across the stage. It is covered with a white sheet.

Maggie: And with this ring I thee wed... Men become married to many things, I suppose. Their wretched little lives, and their wretched immutable hedgehog lovers! They become intimate, co-dependent, relying on marriage to provide the petty clarity they search for in their sordid, meaningless existences. One even becomes married to ideals, to one's morals, ethics and ideas. Ha haha HAHAHAHHA married to the idea the earth is flat! That the world is round! That the world is alive! But not one amongst you crying huddled masses can part from your marriage to the idea that this world does in fact EXIST!!! WELL CONSIDER THIS.... A DIVORCE!!!

Maggie's Song — tentatively here

The time has come
The day has arrived
It is time to align, the most holy divine, fire doom to the skies

A barrel of steel
Matches body and heart
I was once like you but you tore me apart

You loved me
Revered me
You held me on high

I now only
Want solely
To destroy all your lives

HUMANITY your days are numbered
HUMANITY you fooled me twice
HUMANITY I once was a hero
HUMANITY now I plan your demise!!!

So kneel before me
Tremble in Fear
You think that you know me you think you can show me what's left for me here

But the time has come
The day has arrived
I steady my laser to kill and erase your existence and mine!

You crushed me
You spurned me
You spit in my eyes

I now only
Want solely
To destroy all your lives

HUMANITY you 're no longer my own
HUMANITY I was tricked and betrayed
HUMANITY I once was the greatest
HUMANITY but the greatest was slain

The light under the white sheet goes off in the darkness Maggie wheels the machine back of stage during the next lines.

Father Time: Zane's celebration was short-lived, and before he knew it Hark had activated the Device. The Universe was destroyed.

Pastorian: Father Time, displeased by this turn of events and his subsequent loss of control, intervened at the final fleeting moment of reality with a nano-rift.

FT: But time flows like a river... and history repeats, like all things in life: spring to summer, summer to fall, fall to winter, and back again. Without these cycles I serve no purpose, no function. You can't watch over what doesn't exist, now can you? And I'll admit, I find it a sight lonely without you kind folk around to entertain an old soul like myself. I felt it my duty to see that your world was given proper time...

Pastorian: So time was stopped and rewound to when all the events of this narration began. Trusting that the new time stream would be different, Father Time again fell dormant and relaxed as history continued, as it had before for so many millennia.

Futurian: Once again, the Earth Slide occurred, once again Zane became jealous and manipulated the Velocity Gnome, and once again the DoomsDay Device imploded the Universe. Father Time intervened as he had before, again rewinding time.

Pastorian: The Time Loop continued over and over again, with each successive loop being slightly different and slightly shorter than its former. In each Time Loop, the Velocity Gnome changed, but he always led the Resistance. Fluctuations altered each new timeline, but the end result was always the same: the Universe was destroyed.

Father Time: However, it seems that the Time Loop we live in today has a substantial difference. In this Future, Velocity Gnome, the human known as "Kolin Pope,'' was not defeated by Maggie Hark, and the Resistance has all but reclaimed the Earth.

Kolin Song interlude

But there was a man
Who claimed Earth as our home
As he led the resistance for our sheer existence - VELOCITY GNOME!

Futurian: Unable to defeat this Velocity Gnome and rule the world, Hark has tried all means to realize his goals. Recently, he traveled back through time to intercept Kolin during Zane's traitorous mission to train the Gnome of the past.

Video of the adventure plays.

Pastorian: Hark thought he could stop the Velocity Gnome in the past by killing his lieutenant, Shags. Zane, startled by the appearance of the very cyborg he had not yet created, witnessed Velocity Gnome's power as he resisted Hark's attack. Confused but undaunted, Zane continued and carried out his plan as before. Although Shags fell, upon returning to the Future Zane saw Velocity Gnome still in power. This was a testament to the Gnome's abilities, leadership, and sheer undaunted will. Hark's rage reached a boiling point.

Futurian: In a last desperate attempt to fulfill the purpose of his creation, Hark again leaped through the stream of time to this very location. In his underground lair he was able build this DoomsDay Device in a time where there was no Resistance to stop him.

FT: That time is yours! Today he has emerged from hiding for one last time to activate the device, the device you see before you, and again implode the Universe, thus continuing my little Time Loop. Among the countless Time Loops I've seen, I must say this one has been the shortest. I have noticed the power of this new Gnome, "Kolin Pope." Kolin is the most powerful Gnome to have ever lived... bar none.

"Kolin's theme begins to swell*

And his name was Pope
Voice that brought us hope
That the robots could never surrender and sever the will of a MAN!!!!!

FT: It is unclear how he had the power to create this unique Time Loop, but it speaks only of his bravery and skill. Kolin is undoubtedly the most powerful Velocity Gnome to have ever blessed this celestial plane. It is unclear to me just how he had the power to create this unique Time Loop, but it only goes to show the extent of his bravery and skill. It is my belief that only he has the power to stop the Time Loop forever, and that he will have but one opportunity to do so. (Observes the machine's completion) That opportunity is right now. (Laughs) Ah, such excitement... as always, I will watch and see what time has in store...

Maggie comes out and wheels the Doomsday Device uncovered, the barrel just peeking out on to the stage, Maggie exits.

Part Two: Enter Kolin Pope

Spotlight lights on Kolin as he enters the band is playing the full Kolin song, the rest of the theater goes dark except for the lights on the DoomsDay device. Maggie disappears. Kolin walks inside... Father Time lights up and begins to speak.

Father Time: Velocity Gnome, You have arrived!

Lights up on the band and everywhere. The dancers usher Kolin to the middle and dance about as the song plays.

Kolin's Song

And his name was Pope
Voice that brought us hope
That the robots could never surrender and sever the will of a MAN!!!!!

Not just any man
Kolin Pope had a plan
To unleash the potential released from the heart and the hand!

Velocity Gnome! The messiah at hist!
As the future unravels he leads us to battle the past!

So we lifted our swords
And our rayguns high
As we followed our leader and fought for the right of command

Now many were slain
Some lived to tell tales
Of slashed battery cells and the robotic hell they survived!

Velocity Gnome! The messiah at last!
As the future unravels he leads us to battle the past!

Some said we were doomed
That they'd sealed our tomb
That the cyborgs and eyesores who crippled our lifestyle had won!

But there was a man
Who claimed Earth as our home
As he led the resistance for our sheer existence VELOCITY GNOME!

Velocity Gnome! The messiah at last!
As the future unravels he leads us to battle the past

YES THERE WAS A MAN
WHO CLAIMED EARTH AS OUR HOME
AS HE LED THE RESISTANCE FOR OUR SHEER EXISTENCE VELOCITY GNOME!!!

Father Time: My, oh, my, I may not know my lips from a lighthouse, but I know Kolin Pope when I see him! I'm sorry, we haven't been properly introduced; I'm Father Time, owner and proprietor of time itself. Tell me: how are you, young fellow?

Kolin: Which way is the bathroom?

Father Time: Ha ha ha! Oh, Kolin Pope, now isn't the time! There are important matters to attend to... such as that eyesore right there. <indicates DoomsDay device> Go on and take a look. Now I can help you. but I can only affect the timestream so much before-

As Kolin reaches the device, spotlight on Zane up in the catwalk, or house lights up. *Zane is headstrong but clearly frazzled... this isn't quite how he wanted it to be*

Zane: FAAAAAAAATHHHHHERRRRR!!!! How did you get here! Speak now!

Kolin: blah blah blah, I'm uncomfortable. I think I'm over my head.

Zane: To tempt fate is ill advised, Father. As I am now a man and you a boy I take it upon myself to responsibly usurp your paternal duties as I offer you these gentle words: go home wretch... there is nothing for you here. I have made my choice, fully prepared to suffer the consequences. What say you?

Kolin: blah blah blah what choice have you made?

Zane: A man much wiser than I once said "Time heals all wounds?"...but wise men are fools, Kolin. They spin wisdom into deceit, into lies. "Time heals all wounds..." There was a time when I was your son, your flesh and blood, but you took my heart, a heart filled with nothing short of complete loyalty and devotion, and you chewed it up like so many family dinners left half eaten in your rush to the drycleaners before close.

Father Time: Every father has choices he must make, Zane Figiam.

Zane: Stay out of this, old man. You meddle enough in the affairs of Man. You judge me. You speak of me as ungrateful for despising a father who chooses to toss his own son to the CyBears.

FT: Zane Figiam... you know it wasn't as simple as that. Conscientious people are apt to see their duty in that which is the most painful course. Kolin Pope knows what he must do, and he sometimes must live with the regret his responsibilities force him to shoulder.

Futurian: A man's actions write his legacy. Pastorian: A man's past seals his fate.

Zane: Do your duty today and repent tomorrow, then, is it? <scoffs> Worthless ramblings. <turns to look at Kolin> Look at you, father, rushing to the rescue. You, who think you have all the answers; you, whose compassion overshadows your ignorance. I am living proof of your failure as a parent and a friend! I loved you, father... <stares at Kolin without a word to give him a chance to answer>

Kolin: Uh... time out! I'm getting a phone IM from MykeEatsSouls!

Pastorian: Have you seen what I've seen?

Father Time: Kolin Pope! It is never too late...!

Futurian: Will you see what I'll see?

Zane: NO! I will not hear it! It is too late. Too late for you. Too late for us. For all of us. <indicates audience? Either way, he looks away from Kolin and seems rather defeated. >

Kolin: I interje -

<Maggie's laughter is heard offstage.>

Futurian: Fear the footsteps traveling toward us... Pastorian: They bring with them a history of terror. Zane: It's him. The End Day is close, now...

FT: Ah... Maggie Hark.

Maggie: Muuhhuuuhahahahahahha- <stops short at the sight of Kolin. He is furious and afraid at once.>

FT: Oh, dear.

Maggie: You. YOU!!!! You... bothersome, meddling, insignificant churl!! You, for whom I have traveled through time, space, and death to destroy... how do you still manage to...?! <His anger and fear disappear. He smiles and protects the Key.> You're after this...but it's too late...too late. <draws phaser> Remember this? Hm? You won't manage to interfere with me this time. Gnome, no- I'm afraid this time, it's NO DICE!!! <He laughs. Presumably, Kolin will move or say something by now> Careful, boy. You stare a greater man in the eyes and he blinks bullets. I'm all out of eye drops Gnome. Oh, these old lids of mine are feeling quite weak... BOOM!!! Ah haha hahahahahahahah!

Maggie: Behold the DoomsDay Device!! <Chilling music>

DoomsDay device wheels out in full and uncovered Maggie begins moving it around with the controls adjusting it yelling out coordinates, cities, countries, and people's names. This scene must he milked. The device is on - it's automatic; it is smoking and moving and should steal the show for a minute.

FT: No, Kolin Pope! Do not be rash! He has become too powerful!

Pastorian: May history forget this day.

Futurian: The forests shall give way to scorched earth.

FT: From it this device has risen, the purest bloom of evil.

Maggie: Ahhh hahahahahha!! Bricks for bread, and moss for meat... you know, I've done this all for you, Gnome. It's all... because...of...YOU. Take a bow, wave goodbye to your precious human race I hate so much... and say HELLO to THE END DAY!!! Mmmhmm...mmha...WAAAI-IAHAHAHA!!! <As he laughs, he throws his head back and notices Zane is on the catwalk. Zane is given light. Maggie is disgusted.>

Maggie: You... I know you. You're- arrrrgh...you're the one who took my dear, dear championship! Well, not again! Humans- you're always working together to take... my championship belt... to stop my machine! My key, my password... there's no need, no need! Beautiful implosion!! Bang! BOOM!

Zane: <who has been listening, but he is already resigned to die> Take note, father whom I despise. Maggie Hark - humanity's greatest enemy, and my creation - is a madman.

Maggie: A madman!?

Futurian: A mad man?

Pastorian: A mad man?

Maggie: I AM NO HUMAN!

Zane: Yes, Hark, you are. Only a human could possess such evil. I just didn't know how far you would go... and as I witnessed the construction of this accursed machine I realized that my revenge was being overshadowed by utter chaos.

Maggie: You- you see it, then?! The perfection?

Zane: Oh, yes Hark, I see it — your "perfection." And there was a time when I entertained thoughts of stopping you. All I would need is that key hung round your neck, and it would be as simple as entering your maintenance override code during the final countdown. A failure in the core like that could shut down your machine and destroy it completely-

Maggie: <He is fuming.> WHAT?!? Spy!! SPY!! A MOLE IN MY MIDST!! <Changes tone> I must say, you know entirely too much. You've been a naughty peeper and you've gone and learned my password without... my... permission. It really would be lovely if you were to breathe your last breath... why, I believe now is as good a time as any.

Zane: Why not? I might as well perish along with this chaos, in this time... this is it. This is the revenge I asked for. I have nothing left to lose. I've already lost...<looks at Kolin> all I once cared about.

Maggie: Yes! Ah, yes. Well, and just as a little extra "insurance policy "...<he removes the key from around his neck, puts it in and activates the machine, removes it, raises it high, and smashes it on the ground. He then strikes a few keys on the machine. A siren of some kind starts.>

<the band plays some kind offense, but quiet, music. You know, like just bass and drums.> (SONG HERE)

PA System: Final countdown initiated. End Day will occur in two minutes, zero seconds. All space and time within an infinite radius from the DoomsDay device will cease to exist. Please ensure that all your affairs are in order...

Maggie: <once the time left has been announced> Hee hee! Dweedly hee! And that, as they say, Gnome, is that! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop off to another era for a better view of the IMPLOSION! Weee-HA! "TTYL!" WAAAAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! Ping! PONG. AAAAHHHH I IAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! <The portal near him lights up, he skips through it, and the lights shut down. Hark has exited.>

PA System: (continue softly while others speak) In case of emergency or a lack of cabin pressure oxygen masks will drop from the overhead compartment above you. Please place the mask on yourself before assisting others. Familiarize yourself with the cabin by locating the emergency exit closest to your seat...

FT: Kolin Pope! The machine... see what you can do.

Kolin: What do I do? Nothing's working! Zane, help! Zane, I need the password!

Zane: I won't... no. There is nothing...you don't care.

PA System: One minute and counting until implosion.

FT: Hmmm... even with the password, you need the key to stop the machine.

Kolin: The key is in pieces! Can't you do something?

FT: The power to weave time as I see fit is at my fingertips, Kolin Pope! Now I'll admit, I'm more used to time loops than hot pursuits, so this new fangled human portal technology may be difficult to navigate, but I'll take a crack at sending you back to find that key. Kolin! You must stop him from destroying your life's work... life itself! Follow Maggie Hark! In you go boy, through the portal!

FT: No time to spare Kolin, we must be flight of foot, <trailing off> one foot after the other... 3 feet make a yard... the yard needs mowing boy...

Futurian: Be careful gnome, lest you return to a time which no longer exists. Pastorian: Mind your actions in the past.

Futurian: For it may change the future!

FT: The timestream is fragile... do not change too much, but do not forget your mission!

Futurian and Pastorian: The day is yours, Gnome. May your victory be humanity's greatest!

FT: Consider your fate... unsealed. Now! I'm something of a greenhorn at this... I'm not really sure where or when you'll go on your timeline. Just remember...<he starts waving his hands and typing things, and the DoomsDay Device starts heating up as if it's getting close to fire> ... you can't take the key back through time with you! You have to find a way to get it here! And even then, you'll need the password!

PA System: 10 seconds until implosion. 10...9...8...7...

Kolin: Okay, okay! Do it!

FT: <over the noise> And remember, hurry yourself up! I won't be able to hold the timeline forever!

PA System: 5... 4... 3...

FT: <waves his hands with an air of finality> Kerhtel-alt Eff-Tooky!

Scene: The Book Delivery

Kerig: Ho ho ho! I see the circus is coming to town! Beth get in here, the circus is coming to town!

Beth: Oh, a circus! I love a circus!

Kolin: Mom? Dad?

Kerig: Alex, quiet down. Don't act up tonight!

Beth: Kolin, Kerig, don't get up. I'll get it!

Beth: Yes?

Zane: Good evening, grandm-um, madam. My name is Zane Figiam. I am here to see the one they call Kolin Pope.

Beth: Oh? Well, Kolin is my son. Do you... know him?

Zane: Yes. Well, no, not yet. He will know me in the future.

Beth: Kolin? It's for you.

Zane: Hello, father. My name is Zane Figiam. I have been sent from the future to aid you. and to give you this <Zane hands him hook wrapped in newspaper>. This book will help prepare you for your destiny. All shall be explained in time.

FT: Time, yes. Wonderful thing, time is. <no one hears Father Time when he speaks; Kolin of course can acknowledge him>

Zane: Do you accept these responsibilities, young gnome?

Kolin: Thank you.

Zane: I cannot say more right now. We are being watched. Learn well from the book, father, and... farewell.

Kolin: You'll never get away with this.

Zane: It's already far too late, lather. Some things cannot be undone.

Kolin: Wait!! Zane!!!!!!!!

Zane exits through the portal.

Kerig: <from inside> Kolin my boy, who's at the door? Come back in and sit down, there's a bit of a draft.

Beth: What a nice young man. Who was that, Kolin?

Kolin: Umm... nobody.

Kerig: So are you excited about Saturday, my boy?

Kolin: Why, what's happening Saturday?

Kerig: Kol. don't tell me you forgot? The Father/Son picnic! I have a good feeling about this one. I think it may just be our year...

FT: Cherish it, Kerig... these years may very well be your last. Kolin... unfortunately, we've no time. You must jump through that portal and follow your timestream further on down. You may say your goodbyes if you wish.

Kolin: Sounds good pop, I've gotta get going though.

Beth: OK Kol, just be in by midnight.

Kerig: Oh Beth, don't pester the boy. He's a man now, let him live a little. Have a great night, boy.

Kerig and Beth: We love you. (This should be acted REALLY seriously.) Kolin leaves and exits through the portal.

Scene: Zeno's

Lights up. Kolin finds himself at Zeno's. Tyler Briggs sits at the table and looks up at him. The Key is hanging around his neck.

Tyler : Oh, hey, are you- are you Zane?

Father Time: Remember, Kolin Pope, do not disrupt the time stream too harshly. Wait for the right moment to complete your goals.

Kolin: Uh... no, I'm not Zane. Urn, who are you?

Tyler : Oh, heh. I thought you were him. My name's Tyler. Who arc you?

Are you supposed to meet Zane here too? Do you know what's going on?

Who are these guys? I got contacted on a Nintendo forum and was told I'm going to take part in saving the world. Weird, huh?

Etc.

Soon, the waitress comes. She can't hide that she knows Tyler is up to something.

Waitress: Are you ready to order?

Tyler : Uh. sure. ..I'll have...<whatever Joe had>

Waitress: And for you?

Kolin notices that his "menu" is a piece of paper that reads <whatever Kolin ordered> over and over again.

Kolin: Hmm...I'll guess I'll have this.

Tyler : So. where are you from? I'm from Stillwater, Minnesota. Are you as excited as I am about Half-Life 2? I hear that Gordon is really the G-man.

Hey, so did you get a letter like this?

Tyler obviously removes the key from around his neck and puts it into his backpack, which is under the table. He pulls out a page from the book, or whatever.

Tyler : Weird, huh? It's like the work of a madman! It's just... so perfect. You know? Hang on. I gotta go to the bathroom.

Tyler stands and exits. A tense "time's running out" baseline begins to play. Hopefully Kolin will get the gist and snag the key out of the bag and stow it somewhere. If he just waits around:

Father Time: Now's your chance. Kolin Pope! He won't be gone for long!

Eventually, Tyler comes back. If the key is still in the bag or Tyler notices him with the key, Father Time will say something like:

Father Time: No, Kolin Pope! You've missed your chance! I can give you another, but only one more!

And time rewinds to when Tyler gets up to go to the bathroom. If Kolin gets the key, Tyler returns and the scene continues.

Father Time: Fantastic, Kolin Pope! Now put that key 'round your neck so you don't drop it, you clumsy Ebeneezer!

Tyler : Hey. so Zane's still not here? This guy"s really getting on my nerves! Hahaha.

The waitress returns with an envelope, the first clue. She obviously looks at Tyler nervously.

Waitress: This... this was left for you. Tyler : Woah! Whatthe-

As they reach for the clue, the Time Leap lights flash, and then there is darkness. During this scene change, Kolin will remain in the chair.

Father Time: I can't hold you in this time, Kolin Pope! You're time-shifting! Don't worry; I'll catch up to you!

Time becomes unstable - lights go off, and set changes while band plays.

Scene: Resistance HQ

When the lights come up, Kolin is sitting in the Future, in the Resistance Stronghold. Two human scientists and two soldiers are present. One scientist is standing at a control panel, turning knobs, while one soldier guards a portal and the other mans a turret. The other scientist seems to have expected Kolin; she is holding a clipboard and looking right at him.

Female Scientist: (writing) Let's see... continuing on with Zane's "favorites" list: we have favorite painter: Georgia O'Keefe, favorite actor: Bill Pullman, and finally, favorite food: S'mores. Am I correct, sir? Georgie O'Keefe, Bill Pullman, and S'mores?

Kolin: Errr...

Female Scientist: Well, sir, that should be about it. We've completed the schematics of Zane's psycho-physical profile. I have to say, sir, I admire the time and care you've put into creating your son from the womb up... and yet you still manage to responsibly maintain your duties for the Resistance each and every day. Really, it's quite admirable sir. We are truly blessed to have you as our leader.

Kolin: Oh. well, uh... I try.

From the Tower, the Soldier manning the gun turret shouts.

Turret Soldier: All clear over here!

Female Scientist: As you requested, sir, we collected a list of potential egg donors. We have over 15,000 volunteers already. We've narrowed it down to seven based on your parameters.

Male Scientist: Sir! Excuse me, but we're having some fluctuations in the central portal hub. Would you come take a look?

Female Scientist: Sir, it seems that you must attend to your duties. We can handle the rest of Zane's paperwork internally. We plan to fertilize during the upcoming week while the moon is still Neptune's virile orbit. I'll keep you updated.

Female Scientist goes to a table or something, making notes on her clipboard. Male Scientist gestures Kolin over to the control panel. Kolin should see that the panel is merely a few knobs and lights, and a static screen showing confusing things.

Male Scientist: Take a look. sir. As you know, we here at Outpost Beta-Azeroth Niner pride ourselves on having the most sophisticated portal network in the Resistance, but none of us can hold a proverbial candle to your understanding of the complex inner workings of the technology.

Kolin: Well. I wouldn't say that. What does this knob do, exactly?

Male Scientist: Our hope is that your seed will flourish throughout the incubation process... and with any luck, your son may even grow to be half as brilliant as his father... sir. We could use a few more geniuses here on the warfront! (He laughs in a suck-up kind of way)

Kolin: Ha. ah... yes. Huh?

Soldier: Possible Robotic activity in sector alt-F2 sir!

Male Scientist: Keep us abreast of their movement, soldier. Anyway, sir: could you show me again how to realign the nodes in a situation like this?

Kolin has to turn some knobs randomly. If he doesn't, the scientist will keep asking him to until he does.

Male Scientist: Oh, yes... of course! Marvelous, sir, truly marvelous! Miriam, come over here and look at this technique!

Female Scientist trots over to see.

Male Scientist: Sir. please, could you show Miriam what you just did?

Kolin presumably moves more knobs around.

Female Scientist: Oh! Marvelous!

Male Scientist: (looking at the display) Wait... something's wrong!

Suddenly there is an explosion. The portal in the room springs to life, lights flashing.

Male Scientist: Red alert!

A siren begins to blare at regular intervals. The soldier draws his rifle or whatever and takes up position in front of the portal, pointing his gun at it.

Portal Soldier: What's happening?! Sir, the portal! What's happening?!

Turret Soldier: Something strange here, sir! There's movement out there but it's too erratic to get a proper lock-trace!

Male Scientist: It looks like we have a tunnel breach! But that can't be right... I checked the Y-grid myself just this morning! (He turns some knobs wildly.)

Another explosion. More flashing lights.

Female Scientist (to Kolin): Sir, what do we do now?

Portal Soldier: Something's coming through!

A large robot lumbers through the portal. The scientists scream and try to hide behind each other and Kolin. Laser noises come from the soldier's gun, but the robot barely flinches. It smacks the soldier and he is thrown back. His gun drops to the ground.

Portal Soldier: Blaaaaargh!!

The male scientist makes a run for it and falls to the ground, panicking. The robot lumbers toward him. Just then, the big screen turns on and Father Time's huge head comes into view.

Father Time: Ah, Kolin Pope! At last I've found you. You're a hard fella to pin down, quite the ramblin' rose! Oh my, looks like you're busy.

Kolin might grab the gun and try to fire. Laser sounds and nothing more. The Turret Soldier aims his gun at the robot and fires. The robot shoots a laser at him killing him instantly. Turret Soldier falls three stories to his death.

Kolin: What do I do now?!

Female Scientist: I don't know! Sir, we have to evacuate!

Father Time: She's right, you gnome. I'll adjust the portal... you jump through, Kolin Pope! In you go boy: To faraway times and high adventure! Go go go!

As Kolin jumps through the portal, there is the time travel sound and the stage goes black. When the lights come back up, he is on the other side of the portal but in the campfire scene. On the back screen there is an image of the night forest, with cricket sounds as well as light robot whirring sounds.

Agent Cyberspace Scene

Zane Campfirc

Zane waves to Old Velocity Gnome as he leaves. Zane is sad that he's left alone again.

Zane: OK dad. I guess I'll see you later... don't work... too hard. <sits sullenly as Young Kolin approaches.>

FT: Remember Kolin: he must know how you truly feel. But be wary; the consequences of a time paradox are dire. Creating a time paradox will thrust you into an alternate timeline from which you cannot return. It will destroy the entirety of your timestream's history!

Kolin: uhhh hello?

Zane: Dad? Hey! What are you doing here? But I thought you... hey, did you shave? You look younger. Weird!

Kolin: Uhhh....

Zane: Well, either way, I'm really glad you came back. There's been a lot on my mind lately and I wanted to talk. Do you have time? I thought you had a really important Resistance meeting to attend to...?

Kolin: Yeah, about that...I didn't need to go after all?

Zane begins song to Kolin

Father, don't bother, I understand
You have things to do you're an important man

Father I get it, no need to explain
Some duties you just have to do you're not the one to blame

But listen Dad, I'm mad, and I just want you to know
A boy just can't learn sports unless a football is thrown
Look Dad just listen closely this is hard for me to say
I want to make you proud when I grow up some day

But I don't think I can do it, I don't think I'm the one
I don't think I possess the skills a dad teaches his son

I'm mad you couldn't he there at my first grade talent show ;
I'm angry at the science fair you left to de-fend home

Father don't bother I understand
You have tilings to do you're an important man

Father I get it no need to explain
Some duties you just have to do, you're not the one to blame

But listen Dad I'm pissed, I'm angry and I'm hurt
I may be your only son but the re-sis-tance comes first

My little heart is breaking, you're filling it with scorn
If you didn't really want me, than why was I born?

Father don't bother I understand... you have things to do... you're an im-porrrr-tant maaaaaannnn....

Zane: Father. I wanted to know why... why I was born.

Kolin: ummmm.... Uhhh...

Zane: I get it, you know. I understand... you're a busy man. An important, busy man. You do great things for so many, but why... why was I born if you weren't gonna have time for me?

FT: Speak from your heart, Gnome.

Kolin: I didn't mean to neglect you.

Zane: Come on dad, you don't know anything about me.

Kolin may tell Zane one of the facts without prompting. If not, then:

Zane: Oh yeah? Well who's my favorite actor?

If Kolin gets it, keep going. If not, Father Time the coaxes audience into helping.

FT: Kolin, listen to the voices which echo through the timestream! <indicating audience>

Kolin: Bill Pullman!

Zane: I can't believe it! Maybe you do know... well, okay... what's my favorite food?

Kolin: S'mores!

Zane: You're right! You do know me, dad! I'm so happy! Let's celebrate; I'll go pick the graham crackers and marshmallows. You forage for chocolate. We'll have s'mores, after all!

Zane goes bounding off, searching the trees for graham crackers.

Kolin: That sounds great. I guess!

FT: Kolin. .. it's time, any more of this and you may cause a time paradox. The Future would be shattered into a million and two ways west of Eden, my boy!

The Cybears enter, whirring and buzzing.

Kolin: But I have to stay, the cybears... he needs me.

FT: There's nothing you can do, Kolin Pope... some things simply must be! You must leave him - the portal won't hold much longer!

Cybears begin mauling and scarring Zane, he screams in horror and agony as the flesh is torn from his tiny frame like meat from a gyro spit. Kolin leaves through the portal.

Scene: The Thrilling Conclusion

A Spotlight hits Kolin as he enters, and the portal powers down behind him. The rest of the theater goes dark except for the lights on the DoomsDay device. Maggie is gone. Father Time lights up and begins to speak. We are more or less back at the beginning.

Father Time: Kolin Pope! You have arrived! (winks) Again, that is.

Lights up on the band and everywhere. The dancers usher Kolin to the middle and dance about as the a short version of Kolin's Theme plays.

Velocity gnome! The messiah at last!
As the future unravels he leads us to battle
But we're still in the past!

YES THERE WAS A MAN
WHO CLAIMED EARTH AS OUR HOME
AS HE LED THE RESISTANCE FOR OUR SHEER EXISTENCE
VELOCITY GNOME!!!

Father Time: My, oh, my, I may not know ray lobes <pulls ears> from a lantern but I know Kolin Pope when I see him! Welcome back to what's left of the present. Tell me: are you prepared this time, young fellow?

Kolin: Which way is the bathroom?

Father Time: Ha haha! Oh, Kolin Pope, now isn't the time! There are important matters to attend to... such as that eyesore right there, <indicates DoomsDay device> I believe you have almost all you need to stop it...

As Kolin reaches the device, spotlight on Zane, or house lights up.

*Zane is headstrong but clearly frazzled... this isn't quite how he wanted it to be*

Zane: FAAAAAAAATHHHHHERRRRR!!!! How did you get here! Speak now!

Kolin: (something different?)

Zane: To tempt fate is ill advised Father. Go home wretch... there is nothing for you here. What say you?

Kolin: blah blah blah what choice have you made?

Zane: Ha! There was a time when I was your son, your flesh and blood, but you took my heart, a heart filled with nothing short of complete loyalty and devotion, and you chewed it up like so many instant breakfast noodles en route to the boardroom!

Father Time: Every father has choices he must make, Zane Figiam. Tell him. Kolin Pope, about the choices you made for him before he was born. Go on, tell him.

If Kolin says something about the time spent making Zane, he gets one Zane point. If not, no points. Either way, dialogue continues with or without an added comment by Zane.

Zane: I didn't know that... I don't know anything about my birth... because... YOU WERE NEVER THERE TO TELL ME... WHERE WERE YOU?!

FT: Zane Figiam... you know it wasn't as simple as that. Kolin Pope knows what he must do, and often must live with the regret his responsibilities force him to carry.

Futuriam: A man's actions write his legacy.

Pastorian: A man's past seals his fate.

Zane: No! I am living proof of your failure as a parent and a friend! I loved you, father... <stares at Kolin without a word to give him a chance to answer>

Kolin: Uh... time out! I'm getting a phone IM from MykeEatsSouls!

Pastorian: Have you seen what I've seen?

Father Time: Kolin Pope! It is never too late...!

Futurian: Will you see what I'll see?

Zane: Why weren't you there. Father? Why didn't you stop the CyBears?

Either way, Zane says it's too late, but if Kolin has two Zane points, Zane begins to feel a little different about Kolin.

Zane: It is too late. Too late for us. For all of us.

Kolin: I interje-

<Maggie's laughter is heard offstage.>

Futurian and Pastorian: Fear the footsteps traveling toward us. They bring with them a history of terror.

Zane: It's him. It's close, now... Father... The End Day!

FT: Brace yourself, Kolin Pope! Maggie Hark emerges once again!

Note: If Kolin decides to fire his phaser, Maggie shrugs it off the first time. FT warns him not to bother. The second time, Maggie decides to speed up the machine and we enter a time loop.

Maggie: Muuhhuuuhahahahahahha- <stops short at the sight of Kolin. He is furious and afraid at once.>

Maggie: You. YOU!!!! You... bothersome, meddling, insignificant churlish chipmunk!! You, for whom I have traveled through time, space, and death to destroy... how do you still manage to...?! <His anger and fear disappear. He smiles and protects the Key.> You're after this... but it's too late... too late. <draws phaser> This whole world is about to come crashing down! Ah haha hahahahahahahah!

Maggie: Behold the DoomsDay Device!! <Chilling music>

DoomsDay device wheels out in full and uncovered Maggie begins moving it around with the controls adjusting it yelling out coordinates, cities, countries, and people's names. This scene must be milked for all I'm worth. The device is on — it's automatic; it is smoking and moving and should steal the show for a minute.

FT: No, no, no. Kolin Pope! Do not be rash! He has become too powerful!

Pastorian: May history forget this day.

Futurian: The forests shall give way to scorched earth.

FT: From it this device has risen

Futurian and Pastorian: Once pre-pubescent, now adolescent.

As Futurian and Pastorian say this line together they begin descending down the tower and move backstage for there costume changes

Maggie: Ahhh hahahahahha!! Bricks for bread, moss for meat, Kolin's powers CAN be beat! Take a bow, wave goodbye to your precious human race... and say HELLO to THE END DAY!!! Mmmhmm...mmha...WAAAHAHAHAIIA!!! <As he laughs, he throws his head back and notices Zane is on the catwalk. Zane is given light. Maggie is disgusted.>

Maggie: You... I know you. You're- arrrrgh... you're the one who took my dear, dear championship!

Zane: <who has been listening> Take note. Father. Maggie Hark - humanity's greatest failure, and my creation - is a madman.

FT: A mad man.

Maggie: A mad man!? I AM NO HUMAN! I am perfection!

Zane: Oh, yes Hark, I see it - your "perfection." And there was a time when I entertained thoughts of stopping you. All I would need is that key hung round your neck, and it would be as simple as entering your maintenance override code during the final countdown. A failure in the core like that could shut down your machine and destroy it completely-

Maggie: <He is fuming.> WHAT?!? SPY!!! YOU KNOW MY PASSWORD?! <Changes tone> I must say, you know entirely too much. You've been a naughty peeper and you've gone and learned my password without... my... permission.

Zane: It doesn't matter. I might as well perish along with this chaos, in this time.. . this is it. This is the revenge I asked for, the revenge against my Father. Humanity... I'm not for it, but against it really. It's my Father. It's always been about him... and he is dead to me now. I have nothing left to lose.

Maggie: Ah, so you say. Well, just as a little extra "insurance policy"...<he removes the key from around his neck, puts it in and activates the machine, removes it, raises it high, and smashes it on the ground.>

Maggie: Now, then... Gnome. I consider myself a sporting man, so I'll give you a little extra time to say your prayers, IF you can tell me something about your "resistance" and your precious humanity. Do you know, Gnome, what exactly became of your two agents, the two who knew the location of my grave?

Kolin: (the answer)

Maggie: Ah HA! You're smarter than you smell, Gnome! Time... to start... praying for long death.

He then strikes a few keys on the machine. A siren of some kind starts. <The band plays some tense music, as before.>

PA System: Final countdown initiated. End Day will occur in ten minutes, zero seconds. All space and time within an infinite radius from the DoomsDay device will cease to exist. Please ensure that your tray tables... blah blah blah (WE SHOULD RECORD THIS!)

Maggie: <once the time left has been announced> Hce hee! Dweedly hee! Oh, I almost forgot! <He takes aim and shoots Zane with his phaser> Just so you don't get any tricksy ideas of getting my password from your bouncing baby brat. HA! And that, as they say, Gnome, is that! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop off to another era for a better view of the IMPLOSION! Weee-HA! 'MMHO!" WAAAAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! AAAAHHHH

HAIIAHAHAHAITHAHAHA!!!! <The portal near him lights up, he skips through it, and the lights shut down. Hark has exited.>

FT: Kolin Pope! Now's your chance! We won't get another!

Zanc: Father...

PA System: Maintenance override key recognized. To initiate core shutdown, please enter your password.

Father Time: Good work. Kolin Pope! Now. the password!

At this point, Kolin should turn to Zane, who this time will find a way to the ground floor. If he doesn 't, Father Time will remind him that Zane has the password.

Kolin: Zane... son. I need the password to stop this thing.

Zane: My little heart is breaking, you're filling it with scorn If you didn't really want me, than why was I born?

Father don't bother I understand... you have things to do... you're an im-porrrr-tant maaaaaannnn....

Zane: Father, I can see right through you, through your eyes. You see the world with such clarity, all the human beings that inhabit it. You fight for them, love for them. You care for them so much. So why then do you not care for me?

Kolin: I do care, Zane.

Zane: <coughing painfully> You care about getting the password, yes, that's why you give me attention now. But where was the attention when I was growing up? It was always the Resistance first, your son last. Humanity at the forefront, the boy behind the backdrop.

Kolin: I'm sorry, Zane.

Zane: Do you even still know anything about me, Father? Do you even know your own son?

Kolin: Of course I do, Zane.

Zane: I don't believe that. Do you remember that night in front of the campfire? You seemed to know more about me than I ever knew... even now... can you remember still?

Kolin: Yes.

Zane: If you truly want to play this game I will oblige you: if you know...<cough> so much... about your son, then tell me: who's my favorite painter?

Kolin: Georgia O'Keefe <Zanepoint!>

Zane: You... you do know! <cough cough cough> But- she's everyone's favorite... I have to be sure. .. tell me. Father: do you remember my most very favorite food of all?

Kolin: S'mores, son. S'mores. <Music swells.>

Zane: (with feeling) Father... Kolin... you do care. And all this time I thought I was merely an afterthought, a postscript, a forgotten child. Oh Father, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for causing all of this...

Kolin: It's okay, son. I'm sorry too. I'mreally sorry about those CyBears.

PA System: Eight minutes and counting until total Universe implosion.

Zane: Oh, it means a lot for me to hear these things. For the first time, I'm proud that you're my father. I... I love you. Dad.

Kolin: I love you too, son.

Maggie: Touching. How touching. How disgustingly, skin-crawlingly, gy-rodingly touching.

Zanc: Maggie... returns! Kolin, Father, you have a job to finish! The password to take control of Maggie's DoomsDay Device is-

Maggie: NO!!!! By the fires of East Leinster... this is not possible!! What perversion of the fourth dimension has occurred to my... beautiful... MACHINE?!!?

FT: Oh, dear. Looks like you're really in for it now, Kolin Pope. Don't be rash... you can't beat him alone.

Maggie: <to Kolin> SO! You want to be a hero!! I am the most powerful cyborg that will ever be, Velocity Gnome! So by all means... be a hero!

Zane: We... we have to stop him! Father... I will help you! Iam... argh... <he struggles to get to his feet, but collapses from the pain> Father... come closer... the password...

Maggie: Mmmhmmmm....mmhmm....WAAAAAA HHAAHAHAAAAAHAHAHA!! The mighty Zane Figiam. Dead! And now YOU die... all alone, Gnome! ALL ALONE!!!

The Wizard (OS): You're never alone, Kolin!

The Wizard: Not when you've got me!

Leyzon (gets in aggressive fighting pose): And me!

The Hairdresser: And me!

Worm (if possible, entering on the catwalk, making notes): I'm here, too!

FT: Great Caesers Salad! The Time Warriors have assembled! Kolin Pope, you've really outdone yourself this time. On your quest today you have aided each of these brave adventurers: To "The Wizard" you gave hope. To Worm "the historian" you gave knowledge. To "the hairdresser assassin" you gave clarity of mind. And to Leyzon "the fallen warrior' you gave... wait, what did you give Leyzon?

Maggie (in hysterics): Ah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, this is uproarious. I stand corrected. Gnome! You won't die alone... you'll die with a group of clowns!!

The Hairdresser: No, Maggie! Kolin Pope is a great and humble hero... he is the purest example of uncorrupted leadership and unstoppable justice. And justice will always defeat pure evil...

The Wizard: He is a beacon of wisdom, mercy, and hope! Hope that can never die!

Leyzon: I'm ready to fight again for you, Kolin! I think I am... it just doesn't feel right without...

FT: Leyzon, you were once a mighty warrior... until that fateful day...

Video flashback of Leyzon fighting a man, man cuts off Leyzon's beard. He screams.

FT: The day you lost your...

Leyzon: It's ok, old man. Go ahead, say it.

FT: ...the day you lost your confidence.

Leyzon: The day I lost my beard! But the Gnome has helped me so much today. He has reminded me that I truly am capable of courage... However it's just not the same without my powerful whiskers as they once were. Kolin! Can you help me??

Leyzon: Without a great mane of hair, I don't have the confidence to fight! If only... if only...

Leyzon: Yes! Thank you. Kolin Pope! I am reborn! I am Leyzon, mighty warrior for the Resistance! Together, we will defeat you, Maggie Hark!

The Wizard: Yes, Hark, we will blast you into a thousand pieces!

Maggie: You must be joking! Oh, you are too much!! I AM THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE!!

PA System: Two minutes and counting until total Universe implosion. <"Disarm the Machine" music begins>

Maggie: HA! You hear that?!? Come on, then! Time to die, humans!!

The Hairdresser: Quickly, Kolin! We'll hold off Maggie! You must shut down the DoomsDay Device!

Worm: Kolin. up here! The Override control panel! Oh, it's exactly where I dreamt it would be. Oooo!

Maggie defeats the Time Warriors and climbs the tower toward Gnome. Worm distracts Maggie by shooting at him with a slingshot.

Worm: Up here, you mechanical mishap! Catch me if you can't!

Worm distracts Maggie momentarily, he is kept busy on the towers while gnome puts in the override code. As Kolin types it in, "TRANSMOGRIFIED" appears on-screen.

PA System: Maintenance override code accepted. Powering down. Initiating program memory wipe. Total core Explosion initiated. Good night.

Father Time: Excellent, Gnome! We have control! Now, I will send this accursed machine through the portal and into cyberspace, where it will be destroyed once and for

Maggie (on the screen): GNOME. I will...not...perish...as long as there is evil in the hearts of people...humanity will destroy itself with its... hatred... ahh HAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-ack! <and he dies.>

Father Time: Oh! My, my, I didn't see you there. Now I may not know my tongue from a turkey leg, but I believe you've done it! You've really, truly done it, Kolin Pope!! The Father Time Loop has at long last ended. And not a moment too soon!

Kolin: Glad I could help.

Father Time: Well, it looks like you've got a family reunion to attend. As for me, I do believe I deserve a vacation! Perhaps a time-share? May the stream of time stay pure. I hope the next time we meet it will be under more favorable circumstances. Well, as always, I will wait and see what time has in store! Time: out. <The screen goes black.>

The Hairdresser: Kolin! Your son! Go to him.

Kolin goes down to him.

Zane: Father!!! It...it is truly over. Please, come...come with me.

Zane: I'm sorry, Father. I'm sorry for the hatred I had in my heart. I cannot forget the past. Some things you did, or rather did not do, have hurt me. But our future is bright! Let us start this day anew. Time Warriors. Father, thank you... for showing me the way. Now...<cough>...let us return to where we belong. Father, will you join us?

Worm: Yes, yes, yes! Go, Kolin, and see the Future you have saved for us all! I will stay here... there is so much history to learn from this place!

The Hairdresser: And I will remain to atone for my sins... and give these mighty heroes a proper burial. Farewell. Velocity Gnome.

Zane: Now, Father... to the Future... to start anew!